A LITTLE TEACUP NAMED DESIRE.

#31

2010-03-27T19:51:00.000-04:00

I (I) (I)
I WANT TO GIVE YOU MY ALL
to
let YOU
into my soul.
ALLOW
YOU...
to reach the quietest steps of my sanity.
where the banister has collected dust
i hide past lust
where silence is a must
the slightest noise might
cause it all to
JUST
fall apart.

Where only still thoughts remain
the pain remains in a frame
covered with a name
that isnt visible from the doorway.
more ways..
for YOU
to get to KNOW me...
to see
ALL that could be.

okay okay..

2010-02-16T00:17:00.000-05:00

so i have been getting the message people! i dont update enough.. but i cannot rush my art lol... also.. i was thinking of using this as a way to express myself in just written language.. dont always gotta be so artsy fartsy.. i can be deep and i can be shallow just like the ocean. BTW i decided to post any interesting question i get from formspring on here.

formspring.me

2010-02-15T21:41:00.001-05:00

What is your favorite dish to make?

normally i love to make traditional white rice and beans.. im puerto rican so i grew up on that but im ona diet so no beans right now...but i have a trinipass so i looooove curry chicken channa.. doubles.. anything bready and slighty spicy :-).. im also really good @ making italian food from scratch.. *pats back*

Ask me anything, keep it clean.. im not telling you my favorite position smh lol :-)

formspring.me

2010-02-12T14:34:00.001-05:00

Do you collect people in jars? If so what type of people and why? Ask a question back? :)

lol... no i do not collect people. i actually have a bad habit of getting rid of people.. their are very few people i keep around for longer than a year or two.. friend or lover..

Ask me anything, keep it clean.. im not telling you my favorite position smh lol :-)

formspring.me

2010-02-07T23:05:00.001-05:00

Would you travel to see someone? Like another borough or state?

of course! thats two for the price of one.. bonding time and a vacation! but the bond btw has to be strong enough that we can stand each for an alotted amount of hours.

Ask me anything, keep it clean.. im not telling you my favorite position smh lol :-)

formspring.me

2010-02-06T20:27:00.001-05:00

Ask me anything, keep it clean.. im not telling you my favorite position smh lol :-) http://formspring.me/teacuppstarr

ahhhhh 2010...

2010-01-05T00:42:00.000-05:00

okay so new year... ill be getting a new layout for my blog.. gonna begin to put up new short stories pieces and poetry that i have written maybe along with candid photos of me or people who are influencing my writing just a more in depth look as to who i am

so i wrote this small piece to start off the new year.

i am riped to be picked
pinch me and see
as my feelings fly away
im ready
oh so ready
to start as fresh as the inside
of the sweetest strawberry
prepared to let go
fly free
and succumb to my own
sweet
glory.

okay

2009-12-08T13:44:00.000-05:00

i been gone for a min. but i am writing new pieces as we speak. i was under a personal gag order so i wasnt allowed to write about what was going on in my life. but i am free to post new works and art that i may create. i also want to know if anyone else would like to put their work on display to feel free to contact me all art should be shared. peace.

ruth chris vs. white castle

2009-09-23T14:09:00.000-04:00

this was a conversation i had on BBM (blackberry messenger) a while back.. i left it as a draft and never posted it. but it seemed fitting.

Participants:
------------
SuPerb Ya HEaRD?,protect the innpocent

Messages:
---------
SuPerB Ya HEaRD?: Chick really be wack
SuPerB Ya HEaRD?: Truly white castle to my ruth chris
@FreshJacobs: Lol. I can believe that.
@FreshJacobs: Lmao. Ur an ass for that analogy.
SuPerB Ya HEaRD?: I be like wtf was I thinking???
SuPerB Ya HEaRD?: LOL
SuPerB Ya HEaRD?: It takes a lot of them to amount to one porter house
@FreshJacobs: indeed it does.
@FreshJacobs: But maybe they like white castle.
SuPerB Ya HEaRD?: And by the time u do. It done gave u gas the runs afew pounds and a lot of calories..
SuPerB Ya HEaRD?: I mean I like white castle.. But it aint savory like ruth chris
SuPerB Ya HEaRD?: Ruth chris gives u atmosphere
SuPerB Ya HEaRD?: Side dishes to compliment the steak
SuPerB Ya HEaRD?: Ambiance.
SuPerB Ya HEaRD?: The whole shabang negroes!! Aha! LOL
@FreshJacobs: Lmao.. :)
@FreshJacobs: Ha! Ur hilarious!
SuPerB Ya HEaRD?: Ima put this shit on my blog.
@FreshJacobs: And guess who's gonna read it? :)
SuPerB Ya HEaRD?: The white castle vs. Ruth chris debate!

A letter from a friend.

2009-09-21T15:41:00.000-04:00

So as anyone who reads my blog knows I been having trouble understand the hurt, the man I was seeing had put me thru. Well a dear friend wrote me this letter and thus everyday when I wanna contact him.. I don't. It helps me remain strong. I think there is a lot of points that can help other women too, thus me making it public. Enjoy.

(Sat at 12:26pm)

For sure girl. The "L" word makes it 100x more complicated, but it shouldn't make you value yourself less. It shouldn't make you accept treatment or behavior that you would NEVER allow otherwise. It shouldn't make you settle, or overlook things that you KNOW aren't right... That's the hardest part, letting go. Cause it's such a warm, safe, GOOD feeling to be loved by someone, but we shouldn't cling to that love if it's not 100%. There are so many different levels of love, and a lot of young girls are willing to accept a fraction of man's love just to have it, but that's not right. Don't settle for 25%, 50% or even 95%. IF he is not 100%, and you are, then remove him from your life. Because a selfish man, even if he knows he's not 100% in love with you, will continue to accept ALL of the love, affection, labor, whatever that you put into him, and still find a way to walk away with a clear conscience. And it's BULLSHIT. But at the same time, we have to stop letting them do it to us. A person can only hurt you as much as you let him or her. So nip that shit in the bud NOW girl. Its gonna hurt like hell for the moment, don't get me wrong. But realize that you are doing this for YOU. Because if you keep letting this person back in at their convenience with their paltry half assed excuse for "Love", not only are you hurting yourself more, but you're showing the person that you value them MORE than you value YOURSELF. And unfortunately they will see that weakness and therefore continue to use you whenever it's convenient for them...SO, that's my lecture for the day. LOL. I only say these things as a friend, an older person, and someone who has experienced this herself. Luckily i am surrounded by strong, smart, beautiful women who love me and lecture me on a daily basis, and their advice is GOLD. So whenever i can, i pass that advice on to my girls, even when they haven't asked for it! LMAO!Put DESI first always. Cause when you find the right man, you will KNOW it. There will be no questions, no doubts about his feelings for you. Because he will be wearing his 100% love for you on his sleeve. And when you feel that 100% you will look back on all these 25% niggas and be like DAMN! But don't regret these small excursions now, because they are what will make you appreciate your 100% when you find him! You are young, gorgeous and have your whole life ahead of you. So don't settle for the bullshit. Get out there, do you, and it will all work out.Wishing you much love, peace and happiness on this gorgeous Saturday,~T.

Silent cell.

2009-08-14T07:47:00.000-04:00

I really wish I never had any feelings. True story.

My feelings leave me in a stranglehold..
As I'm locked in love again once again
I run my hand across the bars
One by one they speak to me
Happiness,
sadness,
pain,
monogomy,
pleasure..
Each one w/ a story each one w/ a reason
As I listen I realized how one sided every emotion was
I pleaded for my sentence to be shortened
Cleary this was a mistake
I didn't deserve to be punished
While I lie in the bed that he made.

2009-08-14T07:45:00.000-04:00

Uh I wrote this after listening to raheem devaughn's "mo better" and it got me thinking and this came out organically

Can you make me feel BETTA?
All I want is to feel BETTA is to feel good
Empty nothings
Not misunderstood
Come lay w/ me can you make me feel BETTA?
Can you hold and kiss me love and paint me
Can you make this smile spread across my face
And down my back
And and past my crack
And and and and close to your sack
As we loving and rubbing and grunting and and
Did he make me feel betta?
No,
I only feel worse.

Show me..

2009-08-14T07:43:00.000-04:00

He is a shell of where a man use to be
I look at him and see hallow
When a black man loses the one thing that pulls me like a moth to a flame
No words can be spoken, that day is a dark one.. No pun intended..
Timeless strength
To carry the world , the burdens and his woman on his back
I can no longer respect
I can see the globe when I look in a strong brothers eyes visit a different country with every inch of skin I. Touch
This sad backboneless shell.. The one with no scars no muscle tone. No neatness no here no there.
The man who is never satisfied.
Has tickled my anxiety for the last time
I need to find the snare that will complete the classic mid tempo low vibrato.. Silky jazzy melodic song that will dictate my future.. Whereever you are .. Hit a beat one time if your near me.

The magician.

2009-08-14T07:41:00.002-04:00

I feel the air leave my lungs
The puncturing wound is a new one
Left by a silent theif that visited me/ in the depth of my deepest dream
He took my dreams
Like a magician added light and color
Hues I never knew exsisted
But like a magician it was just a trick
An illusion and a false view of reality
My dreams had been heightened and shattered
Why would he pretend w/ me?
Were we putting on a play for his amusment?
By act two I was out the picture
Standing backstage behind the light
Watching as he begun a dance with another as he had done w/ me and so many before me

Spanglish

2009-08-14T07:41:00.001-04:00

This is a rough daft of a piece I been working on for a year enjoy...

Me..
Me being me
I am not what I seem to be
See
I'm spanish
L a t I n a
Hispanic not hispic- ish
I'm puerto rican
I'm honduran
And I WILL NOT be your stereotype
The type the stereo blares on about
I will not be your maria maria
Your latin lover
Or your under cover over another jenny from the block
Not gonna be your mira mira
Or your spicy salty salsa picante
Muy caliente
Pa lante!!!!
I'm gonna be
ME
Not your rice and beans
Arroz junto softrito
Cocoqito
Chuchi frito
Mami mami
I'm gonna be
Yo
Moi
Me
The assumptions ignorance makes about me
Your not puerto rican.. Wow , you know the language my soul is speakin? Cuz I damn sure aint indian, no curry just sazon.. And a dash of goya.. Fools always making me feel as if I need a lawyer
If I get on my knees to clean
Never assuming I'm bowing to you
The almighty american top dollar
I am already a citizen
Aand honestly I perfer pasta

honesty..

2009-08-06T12:03:00.000-04:00

ok so im just gonna write this out. no poem no nothing.

so for those that dont know, tuesday morning the guy i was seeing.. lets call him julio (BIG LOL'S @ MYSELF)(HE isnt spanish) decided he no longer wanted to deal w/ me and gave me my walking papers thru text message. i know weak huh? ,BUT GET THIS he really didnt have a reason! Julio said "i feel like i keep constantly disappointing you and im tired of it" wow so why dont you fix it buddy? lol he agreed to meet w/ me which he was "too busy" to do and has ignored me since. what i think is funny is he had the nerve to say he loves me LMAO not in love but LOVES ME DESIREE L. OBANDO as a person.. yea fucking right lol he also says he cares, more bullshit. i know for a fact people who care never ignore the person they care about. even if you think they are annoying, you just let them know "dude your being annoying" i have heard alot of comments about his behavior. and anyone who knows me knows how i am when im involved i go hard! i did everything under the sun for a man who wasnt mine, but i wanted to see him happy(i kno selfless).i have saved messages in my phone of him acknowledging that he was spoiled, and i am the woman who did it. he wanted for nothing,but he also DID nothing for me. the funny thing is he practically begged me to spill my guts. "i wanna know you" or "i wanna understand you" blah blah blah, so i do it. i let him in.. and for what? for him to dead me? i know i did nothing wrong in this situation so i dont feel any type of way about writing this. i know im slightly unstable.. its part of my charm. he has a daughter. all i have to say is karma is a BITCH. be careful of the things you do to women and with women. she has to grow up one day. when its done to her you wont even be able to be mad @ the guy, why? because you will remember the girls you did it to. i know for next time to truly truly be cautious of who i choose to share myself w/ because i def dont ever want another julio.

BTW: i asked if he wanted to be fuck buddies (he said he valued me too much HA!)
also i asked if we were still sexing @ the moment i got no answer... so gay

so for the record. DESIREE is single.. and looking :-) if you know anyone lol you know what to do.

oh yea BY THE FUCKING WAY.. CUT OFF SHORTS ONLY LOOK GOOD ON GAY MEN!

last but not least. im still young.. its an amazing feeling. to my future husband where ever you may lie, i dream of you every night and no man has been able to fit in to your tux yet.

Uhh so right now...

2009-08-04T19:21:00.000-04:00

For all those who havent heard.. I was recently let go. From an investment I had made. Its sad when someone doesn't really see where your coming from. I put a lot into tht relationship. I will wisely think before I do that again. So I was told this:

"You know I care about you right? @ the core of it I truely deeply care" you care soooooo much.
That you smacked me w/ your words and spit disappointment in my face.

Thanks for the facial.

Honestly this is how I feel... But I'm checking myself into writing rehab. And hopefully I won't care in a few weeks. So enjoy the poems tht come from my pain.

An ADDICKtion

2009-08-04T19:18:00.000-04:00

One more time.. Just one more time .. I needed it.
I wanted it.
U got it. I had it.
Once more..
And again and again..
Loved me all over
And all under
And on top..
And on bottom
And oh my..
I needed to be set free,
From the holds that his sensitivity has on me
It was PERFECT.
Am I holding on for just one more hit?
Does nothing else matter when I'm high in the sky
On a euphoric trip
Seeing colors and calling for you to save me cuz it feels too
Good.
Time to check into rehab.
And let go of what is holding me captive. Inactive and all around unable to function.
Without one more hit.

A story of a fool.

2009-08-04T17:35:00.000-04:00

We met in the spring time. It was a cloudy day. My outfit matched the weather. We locked eyes. His scarf was gay. His haircut wack. That smile. Hello. Business card. Not his own. Call you on the telephone. His dinner sounds nasty. Brush off brush off. Now we meet. Your enthralled. Asked to marry me. I leave for a week. I stand u up.u skip over me. I'm cool as sound. You ask for role reversal. To the kitchen I go. I ended up gettting fucked. Over.over.over.over.again sexually explicit open provocative. New beginning. Shock. And anticipation. Let down. Let down. What cud be the reason?. Is he cheating? Imnot his girl. Ima girl in his world. Ima pawn in a game. It ended up all the same. I'm uneducated. I'm not black. I'm unemployed. I feel him on my back. I'm good for a money shot. I'm good to spend my bread. Keeping you happy. Super well fed. Leaving me alone more than once. I'm not your type. We won't work. I can't see. Is it all lies? I get a text message. I can't be w/ you. No more. Well is tht so? His reasons didn't hold up. But ima hold up. I was good in private. That we both know. This is the end of our story. All because he didn't know what he had lost. A soulful miss w/ a lot of love to give. The world in her hands and honesty on her lips. Passing up a diamond is something only fools do. But I guess if he knew he wud be getting me appraised. Instead ill leave my memory of him in this glass of chardonnay.

ugh.

2009-07-01T00:51:00.000-04:00

my head is pounding.
THIS SUCKS.
time to write...

relax.

2009-06-20T19:52:00.000-04:00

introductions greetings
formalities
as you talked into your phone
and i waited impatiently
our eyes met
i said to myself
he could be the blue
i needed to make purple
you handed me a card
abstract on the back
an invitation
to get to know
you
but i didn't know
it might lead to me being blind
as i danced around the idea
didn't entertain
brushed bounced and rolled
it around the room
i finally called
we met
we ate
laughed sipped and my red scarf
slipped down and i smelled my own scent
and wondered would it ever be stuck to you
invitations got lost in the mail
and i never responded
make it up to you
like they did when chivalry was young
but the role reversal had me uneasy
step into the lions den
i lost my power
domesticated house cat
oh that's how u like it?
but the hours are slipping away from me
and i didn't even see when the lights went out in my head
i think the electricity went out when the ice touched my back
and i couldn't breathe
i remember waking up
as powerless as i was
when i stepped into the lions den
i was dinner
what a fool i was.. haha to think
you wanted to eat what i served
when what you truly wanted was
me
on your plate
well sir, thank you kindly i thought you was
a wolf in sheep's clothing all the while you were
king of the jungle
i was prey
i was prey
and prey always prays to never be preyed upon
you say
NO
i was the blue you needed to make purple
i seen your palette you had purple next to green you even had fuchsia
i wasn't a necessity
I,me, moi, I'm the soggy puzzle piece
broken and messy ill fitting in your proper world
your bed became the only location i seemed to be deemed fit to frolic with you
hours minutes seconds
playing hiding hunting
under the sheets mountainous pillows
mounds of flesh human element
animalistic wants
primal actions
your domesticated house cat blows kisses from the window sill
keep dancing in the lion's den
trying my luck
going from the hunted to the hunter
you have pierced my flesh
i have pierced your heart
the mighty lion bleeds too

unknown

2009-06-20T19:15:00.001-04:00

He took me into his grasp
and at that moment i knew
i knew i knew
it was the end of the beginning
of what was once so beautiful
as i watched each item drop
to the floor - your skin
finally meets mine
and damn your fine
and what was i saying again?
oh yes, time
our time
my watch was fast
and that's why i gave up the ass
and now your nestled under
some
one
Else's
sheets.
oh please, she cant mean more than me
i was water to your bedside the tempo in your melody
the reed to your WOOD instrument
with out me you couldn't play
you said
but
we collided under the g clef
i thought i heard an original masterpiece
but maybe it wasn't original
ill write a new score
and it wont include you.
i cant mute your melody in my mind
your notes play deep inside.

RAIN..

2009-06-20T18:56:00.000-04:00

Today was pretty uneventful.. the rain seeped into my shoes and my feet was filled with the fruit of the earth all day. it was pretty itchy walking w/ wet socks. my heart is tight and confused as usual. but from my troubled mind comes lots of inspiration in a few weeks my friend ALI will be writing a poem on my back and photographing it for me to mount on one of my walls, im extremely excited! its gonna be a work of art.. i been listening to "love rain" by Jill Scott and Mos Def for 4 days in a row now if you haven't heard this song please take a moment to listen it is truly beautiful.and its great for weather like this! I have also cut my hair recently so i feel so refreshed.. nice short and sweet like me. very fitting.

staring into the greyish hue
of the darkest blue
cloud
i had ever seen
i wanted it to swa llow
ME
WHOLE
and take me into its moist arms
and hold me there
as i was in the womb
surrounded by water
a sea in the sky
above those i know
there
are
rays..
of the brightest sunlight
waiting just for me.

a promise

2009-06-05T20:47:00.001-04:00

i promised someone i would put this piece i had written about black men. in my dedicated fight to uplift the black man i had wrote this piece about what their physical attributes mean to me.

*sidenote* he tells me how beautiful i am constantly but it doesnt make up for the time we dont share.

The definition of sexy
Chocolate skin set against slanted eyes
lips full succulent like mountains of juicy warm and moist kisses to bless his misses
strong legs like those who had to walk for miles
And for you I will walk miles
to get close enough to feel the heat emitting from your body
Teeth as white as ivory as straight as Indian hair
now I wonder what’s inside deep inside the soul that is locked away under broad shoudlers and backs up straight
i think his chest is where he carries his weight
the baggage that didnt fit on his back saddled on his heart
his broad nose, he takes deep breathes he can smell the field
mama's cooking and i hope me.
those ears that have heard it all before but know wisdom when they hear it,
his brain that works and unlocks the greatest of secrets
Strong hands like so many of those darkened by the sun brothers …
forced fed that tough love brothers
Arms like huge captors that can command millions
or just cuddle close to a woman like me.

THROWBACK

2009-06-05T20:45:00.000-04:00

i was looking thru my collection and this stuck out to me so i thought i would give it some shine

ISNT IT CALLED AUTUMN???

to fall….
Time to turn the clock back…
BACK BACK
BACK..one hr. to replace the time lost…
While spending hrs. on the beach
The contract with summer you would never breach
And now bitter winds bite at your lips
But when u lick them you taste ice cream and whip…
The warmth of the sun on your face you can only feel from the inside of a window
Like a plant in a greenhouse
The long days that lagged on and dragged on like desert nights with no end
Have come to an end
It begins to fall…
Fall like leaves from the trees
And fall fast like the sun before seven pm.
I will no longer call it autumn…
It makes no sense nonsense this season…
The threshold right before bitter frost bite that causes the city to freeze tight…
But if you look real close you might still see…small slithers of light
The small movements going on below… under the snow covered cement and steel anthills..
The transgression point that is cause for you to prepare…to fall…
Fall like the leaves.. Do from the trees.. And change colors
Because you will too… if you don’t bundle up your color will be blue.

dez- circa 05'

for ALI

2009-06-05T20:07:00.001-04:00

SO this post is dedicated to my homeboy ALI R. he secretly inspires me his writing is almost as sick as mine LOL. WELL ANYWAY HE OWES ME SOME ROTI AND A VIEWING @BAM.. MY QUEENS BROWNSVILLE JOB HATING ROTI EATING NON SOCA LOVING BUDDY.. THIS IS FOR YOU
*BTW* (FEELING IT-JAY Z FT. MECCA WAS PLAYING)

CAN I?
CAN I BORROW YOUR PAPER
CAN I BORROW UR PEN
YOUR THOUGHTS AND WHEN
I CATCH UR ATTENTION
CAN WE BEGIN AGAIN?
HI IM ME
NICE TO MEET YOU
I SEE YOUR FLY
WELL IM FLY TOO
I LIKE TO INVOKE THOUGHT
AND SMOKE TREES TOO
AND I WUD LIKE TO CLIMB HIGH INTO THE SKY W/ YOU
BEAUTIFUL MUSIC W/ OUR VOICES WE CAN DO
FLY ALL NIGHT I GOT A MAGIC CARPET
BUT IF THE COPS COME WE GOTTA PARK IT
I WANNA SEE YA SMILE CUZ MOST OF THE TIME YA COMPLAIN
UPSET ALL WET ALL TYPES OF INSANE
ALL I CAN OFFER IS AN EAR AND SOME TIME
AND MAYBE A PLATE
BUT EXCUSE ME AM I BEING TOO STRAIGHT
UP
I MEAN IM NOT ONE TO SAY WASSUP?
BUT YOUR MIND OPENS MINES
AND I LIKE HOW IT FEELS
SO CAN I?
CAN I SIT AND SPAR WITH YOU?
CUZ TALENT RECOGNIZES TALENT AND I RECOGNIZE YOU
-DEZ

venting

2009-06-05T19:56:00.000-04:00

as john coltrane plays in the background i have my back resting up against a pillow i am trying my best to reflect. LOL how is it you can completely adore two people and know both of them are no good for you,IN COMPLETELY OPPOSITE WAYS.. neither is a stereotype or a quick write off..one isnt good for me emotionally. i like to think of myself as a freeform as jazz or abstract art.. i feel like he doesnt get my melody..both arent long term agreements maybe i should wave ce la vie

but you know i couldnt complete this post without some poetry

if i open my heart is it the same as opening my legs
i mean to you the math maybe all the same
trying to get to the same equation
but you might not end up in the same location
each night when your too busy for me
im being entertained he is filling your place
not nice to know when you have been replaced?
-dez

as it warms up

2009-04-18T18:03:00.000-04:00

As the weather warms up in NYC i cant help but think about the warming in my heart. everyday i come a little closer to being satisfied with just me and whatt and who i am. sometimes in your life you pray and wish to feel like this and it never comes and when it does it's the ultimate reward.

2009-03-12T13:11:00.000-04:00

OK.. so Last night i had an awesome dream involving someone very special. for the sake of privacy we will call him NOWAY.. so in my dream our situation is exactly how it is in real life only, we have sexual tension i remember noway being inches from my face telling me how longs it been since we had been intimate, i can taste his breath, and even tho nothing sexual happens the thrill of knowing that i want you and you want me but we do nothing is extremely satisfying.. i chose not to use alot of periods in this post cuz im in a run on mood. sue me

sometimes when your eyes meet mine i wish i could read your thoughts.
since i cant i read my own.
i wonder if you wish you could read mine
my naked flesh feels so good against my own hand
i can see every contour and winding path on me
as water beats against my skin
it washes away my blues my reds my greens
im stuck on yellow
im tired of yeilding
let mein.

Random

2009-03-02T15:47:00.000-05:00

Okay I want a man who shows appreciation. And men who make me laugh are winners hands down

2009-03-01T14:51:00.000-05:00

so i am hungover at the moment , had a great night out with my mom and some friends and family, but it got me thinking as always as i was talking to a friend of mine not all men are inconsiderate, but why do we find completely opposite things to be inconsiderate? a simple reply text message or voicemail makes all the difference. its so funny how far we have come from chivalry, i dont expect a guy to pull my seat out or bring me flowers just text me back LOL..

sexy
A sight to beHOLD
MMM.. i just wanna HOLD
i just wanna be HELD..
close
CLOSE tight warm
LOVING
loving bumping and panting
HOLDING..
i held i saw i CAME..

butterflies

2009-02-28T14:15:00.000-05:00

so a question has been arisen for me, what happens when the butterflies die?
you know when you first meet someone and everything feels magical. Whenever you see him or think about him or hear his voice you get that tingling feeling in your stomach; the butterflies. so lets say on this path down romantic introduction he does something that completely tailspins you guys out of control. whatever it may be and the butterflies die, but you don't completely lose interest can you ever get them back? what happens next? i think it ends up being like the ending of your last relationship.. sexless boring and annoying.

weekend

2009-02-28T11:58:00.000-05:00

so it's Saturday. technically that means nothing to me things are still exactly how they were on Friday and Thursday. But it did get met hinking how much of yourself are you willing to invest in another person?
By this i mean as a friend lover or more. what if you know the situation will lead you down a path to nowhere because of past experience?
Do you still not give this person their fair shot? sometimes i always think it is best to play it by ear after all your ear is doing the listening and your heart is doing the interpreting.

untitled #14
you are not the man that makes my heart stop and gives me cold feet
trust me you aint him
you see...
me and him have history
and tho it may be torrid its still
genuine and true
see he has all those ambitions and
goals and they
freeee
flying free free forming free styling
all around and.
he has his butterfly net catching each one that isnt
too distant too far on a star for him to attain and as he
continues to
marvel marble remarkable make up of a man
i understand
that it will never be
what it once was and what it wasn't
but when im dealt a blow of defeat
he stills wants to praise me and save me
and even tho we can never be
im most happiest when im near the purest honey.

Thoughts on a Friday

2009-02-28T00:07:00.000-05:00

So im sitting at home in my favorite chair and my gears begin to grind and i feel it find its way to me.. inspiration so this is my piece of the night.

untitled #7

Music seems the know the melody of my heart

It plays the strings of my capillaries and veins like a fine tuned stringed instrument

Made of the finest

Nicest

Softest

world craft best craft my only raft..

Right out of the woods and into the jungle

As the light tumbles out and the notes align just so

As I say so

They know

What I know and that is

That the universal language of feeling can be felt in the center of everyone’s chest

The percussion that we carry within